#WoodcutWednesday

Woodcuts from early printed books, posted on Twitter every Wednesday from 2012, with a caption apiece.

Why were two angels arrested at Sodom? …They a-salted Lot’s Wife!

Seems legit.

What #MensRights activists imagine feminism looks like.

Did you hear about Judith’s promotion? …She knows how to get a HEAD!

When a bird shits all over your party.

When one book just isn’t enough. (With bonus #NotALion)

When you come for #WoodcutWednesday jokes and all you get are bad puns.

Did you say you ordered angels on your pizza?

When it’s Christmas and you discover that it isn’t your child.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 16079)

When all you get for Christmas is some other dude’s kid.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 2836)

Questions for Aquinas: How can a man-made scalpel sever the Holy Foreskin?

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 2836)

When you didn’t get what you asked for on Christmas morning.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 2936)

When that one kid in class corrects you based on something he read on Wikipedia.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 2836)

The Biblical Brady Bunch was fucking confusing.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 2836)

When your mother tells you there won't be Christmas pie because your sister has gone gluten free.

When that one aunt rolls up to Christmas dinner with her Crock Pot.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 2836)

When you stayed up all night assembling Christmas presents.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 2868)

Sixteenth century

It isn’t just Joseph who is unsure about this whole baby thing.

From: John Bucke, Instructions for the vse of the beades conteining many matters of meditacion…
Printed: 1589
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 4000)

At least this one isn't a #GrumpyJoseph. He's more of a #BefuddledJoseph.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 16062)

I didn’t think it was possible but– A HAPPY JOSEPH!

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 16062)

When you realize you're going to spend hours in line returning this shit.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 16062)

Sixteenth century

When he leaves you with a child and won't even return your calls anymore.

From: Gaspar de Loarte, Instructions and aduertisements, how to meditate the misteries of the rosarie of…
Printed: 1597
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 16646)

Sixteenth century

When you remember what you drunkenly said to your boss at the Holiday Party.

From: John Proctor, The fal of the late Arrian
Printed: 1549
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 20406)

Sixteenth century

And your wife remembers too.

From: John Proctor, The fal of the late Arrian
Printed: 1549
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 20406)