#WoodcutWednesday

Woodcuts from early printed books, posted on Twitter every Wednesday from 2012, with a caption apiece.

Fifteenth century

"My good man, can you point me to the nearest sabbat? I'm late for an orgy."

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

When your overbearing mother returns at her own funeral to wipe dirt from your face.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

"I kind of want to draw a lion, but I also want to draw a giraffe." -"Why not both?"

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

Before trailers or storage units, early modern Walter Whites had meth caves.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

Kyle was really into architecture.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

When your friend walks in while you're abusing yourself, and it's too late to stop.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

When your friend's bae proposes to her, but you know he's not right for her.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

When your roommate smells what you’re cooking.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

"I need to draw a tower, but I don't have a model." -"Use your penis." "That works."

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

Still the earliest English erect penis woodcut I’ve found.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Comparative woodcuts. John's vision of the candlesticks. Dürer vs. Image of Both Churches.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 1297)

Dürer vs. John Bale's Image of Two Churches. John kneeling before the elders.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 1297)

St. John Eating the Book. Dürer vs. John Bale’s Image of Two Churches.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 1297)

Melencholia. Dürer vs. me.

The Woman of the Apocalypse with the Seven-Headed Beast. Dürer vs. Bale's Image.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 1297)

The Whore of Babylon. Dürer vs. Bale’s Image of Both Churches.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 1297)

When your baby won't stop crying during the movie, so you take them to the lobby.

Cosmography, pre-Copernican style. With bonus #GodHand.

God discovers a design flaw in Adam Beta.

The Creation of Eve. Liber chronicarum, 1493.

a wild Blemmye appeared

What is the worst type of cat to have? …A cat-astrophe!

What’s the best type of lard to melt over a fire? …A Lol-lard!

Lot’s wife pillar-of-salted. -Liber chronicarum, 1493.