#WoodcutWednesday

Woodcuts from early printed books, posted on Twitter every Wednesday from 2012, with a caption apiece.

When the other uncle bought a better present than you.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 16081)

When you're still opening presents and you can't stop thinking about Christmas dinner.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 16029)

When you realize you left the presents on the roof of the car.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 15997)

Sixteenth century

When he thinks myrrh is an appropriate gift for a baby.

From: This prymer of Salisbury use
Printed: 1532
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 15977)

Sixteenth century

…And he knows it’s crap too.

From: This prymer of Salisbury use
Printed: 1532
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 15977)

Sixteenth century

When “just the tip” is uttered more in dread than in desire.

From: This prymer of Salisbury use
Printed: 1532
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 15977)

NSFW

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 2867)

When three creepy strangers turn up, showing too much interest in your newborn.

Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 2867)

When you’re supposed to be cleaning, but all you want to do is read.

That’s a good way to get birds to shit in your mouth, Dave.

God always fancies a game of Whack-A-Fool.

Just one of those days when it feels like the world is on your shoulders.

Fifteenth century

When the teacher drops an F-bomb in class.

From: of Metz Gossuin, Hier begynneth the booke callyd the Myrrour of the worlde ...
Printed: 1490
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 24763)

ICYMI: New blog post with ALL THE WOODCUTS!!!

Fifteenth century

Melvin immediately regretted purchasing the extra-large buttplug.

From: of Metz Gossuin, Hier begynneth the booke callyd the Myrrour of the worlde ...
Printed: 1490
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 24763)

Fifteenth century

“But I just came in to have a mole removed,” said Adam.

From: of Metz Gossuin, Hier begynneth the booke callyd the Myrrour of the worlde ...
Printed: 1490
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 24763)

Fifteenth century

The good old days when teachers could make their students huddle on the floor.

From: of Metz Gossuin, Hier begynneth the booke callyd the Myrrour of the worlde ...
Printed: 1490
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 24763)

Sixteenth century

When the Special Collections Librarian finally pulls your request.

From: John Lydgate, The hystorye, sege and dystruccyon of Troye
Printed: 1513
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 5579)

Sixteenth century

"Are people bigger or smaller than ships and castles?" -"Bigger." "Okay."

From: John Lydgate, The hystorye, sege and dystruccyon of Troye
Printed: 1513
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 5579)

Sixteenth century

When you discover the conference room you reserved is too small for your event.

From: John Lydgate, The hystorye, sege and dystruccyon of Troye
Printed: 1513
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 5579)

Sixteenth century

When you're supposed to be slaying a dragon, but you can't stop thinking about pancakes.

From: John Lydgate, The hystorye, sege and dystruccyon of Troye
Printed: 1513
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 5579)

Sixteenth century

Wheel of Fortune was a very different game before @PatSajak took over.

From: John Lydgate, The hystorye, sege and dystruccyon of Troye
Printed: 1513
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 5579)

"I want a battle scene in the woods, but the trees get in the way." -"Try really small trees."

Sixteenth century

"Oops. I made this castle too small." -"Just put tiny soldiers coming out of it."

From: John Lydgate, The hystorye, sege and dystruccyon of Troye
Printed: 1513
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 5579)