#WoodcutWednesday

Woodcuts from early printed books, posted on Twitter every Wednesday from 2012, with a caption apiece.

Sixteenth century

And you thought your cat was great. Satan here talks and promises his owner riches.

From: John Phillips, The examination and confession of certaine wytches at Chensforde
Printed: London, 1566
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 19869.5)

Sixteenth century

Suffering from a bad case of #VaginaEyes.

From: John Phillips, The examination and confession of certaine wytches at Chensforde
Printed: London, 1566
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 19869.5)

Sixteenth century

Sorry, early modern printer. This is #NotAToad.

From: John Phillips, The examination and confession of certaine wytches at Chensforde
Printed: London, 1566
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 19869.5)

When you're not feeling well but you meet with your loquacious and boring friend, Roberta, anyway.

Seventeenth century

Weirdest. Hot tub party. Ever.

From: Thomas Potts, The vvonderfull discouerie of witches in the countie of Lancaster VVith the…
Printed: 1613
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 20138)

That awkward moment when your friend excitedly shows you her new pet, but it's clearly a devil.

Sixteenth century

Just poor-sighted Mother Dutten, feeding her pet dogs.

From: A rehearsall both straung and true, of hainous and horrible actes committed…
Printed: 1579
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 23267)

That moment when you are trying to think of a good comeback to something said ten minutes ago.

Sixteenth century

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of–Oh my God! What the actual fuck???

From: The apprehension and confession of three notorious witches. Arreigned and by iustice…
Printed: 1589
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 5114)

Sixteenth century

This is how I’m going to end everything I ever write from now on.

From: The apprehension and confession of three notorious witches. Arreigned and by iustice…
Printed: 1589
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 5114)

Seventeenth century

Just three women riding a pig.

From: The witches of Northampton-shire Agnes Browne. Ioane Vaughan. Arthur Bill. Hellen Ienkenson.…
Printed: 1612
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 3907)

Seventeenth century

Old lady + animals = English witch

From: The wonderful discouerie of the vvitchcrafts of Margaret and Phillip Flower, daughters…
Printed: 1619
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 11107)

Sixteenth century

Your Enormous Codpiece Style Kung Fu is strong, but my Fancy Hat Style will defeat you.

From: Juvenall Borget, The divels legend. or: a learned cachephochysme containing the confession of the…
Printed: 1595
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 3388)

That awkward moment when after you behead a guy, you don't know if it's the right guy.

NO. MORE. WIRE. HANGERS!

Venus and Mars caught in an adulterous embrace. Ovid. Metamorphoses. Frankfurt, 1563

Envy looks perfectly content. Ovid. Metamorphoses. Frankfurt, 1563.

Reminder: When you stumble upon a bathing goddess, don't pretend like your spear is your penis.

Gene Simmons’ has nothing on this #NotALion’s tongue.

That awkward moment when your angel feels left out during your threesome.

2 AM at the club.

Marsyas didn't think his run on American Idol would end quite like this.

The walk home from the club.

None of these animals seem particularly happy with your performance, Orpheus.