#WoodcutWednesday

Woodcuts from early printed books, posted on Twitter every Wednesday from 2012, with a caption apiece.

Fifteenth century

Philip the Foot-Fetishist was never invited to another anatomy.

From: Bartholomaeus Anglicus, Bartholomeus de proprietatibus rerum
Printed: Westminster: Wynkyn de Worde, 1495
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 1536)

Fifteenth century

I think I've found the worst woodcut of a #NotAnElephant ever. (With bonus #NotALion)

From: Bartholomaeus Anglicus, Bartholomeus de proprietatibus rerum
Printed: Westminster: Wynkyn de Worde, 1495
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 1536)

Fifteenth century

When you’re naked, but you know you’re looking good.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can… imagine."

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

"My good man, can you point me to the nearest sabbat? I'm late for an orgy."

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

When your overbearing mother returns at her own funeral to wipe dirt from your face.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

"I kind of want to draw a lion, but I also want to draw a giraffe." -"Why not both?"

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

Before trailers or storage units, early modern Walter Whites had meth caves.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

Kyle was really into architecture.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

When your friend walks in while you're abusing yourself, and it's too late to stop.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

When your friend's bae proposes to her, but you know he's not right for her.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

When your roommate smells what you’re cooking.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

"I need to draw a tower, but I don't have a model." -"Use your penis." "That works."

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

Still the earliest English erect penis woodcut I’ve found.

From: John Mandeville, Here begynneth a lytell treatyse or booke named Johan Mau[n]deuyll knyght born…
Printed: 1499
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 17247)

Fifteenth century

When the teacher drops an F-bomb in class.

From: of Metz Gossuin, Hier begynneth the booke callyd the Myrrour of the worlde ...
Printed: 1490
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 24763)

Fifteenth century

Melvin immediately regretted purchasing the extra-large buttplug.

From: of Metz Gossuin, Hier begynneth the booke callyd the Myrrour of the worlde ...
Printed: 1490
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 24763)

Fifteenth century

“But I just came in to have a mole removed,” said Adam.

From: of Metz Gossuin, Hier begynneth the booke callyd the Myrrour of the worlde ...
Printed: 1490
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 24763)

Fifteenth century

The good old days when teachers could make their students huddle on the floor.

From: of Metz Gossuin, Hier begynneth the booke callyd the Myrrour of the worlde ...
Printed: 1490
Image from: Early English Books Online (STC 24763)